Untitled Blog Post number 4

January 16^th 2013

I started working out again yesterday and I feel great! Ever since getting here I haven’t really understood how to work out. There are a few gyms, but they don’t look even as good at the terrible gyms in Minneapolis, and I can’t run because of the air pollution. I’ve decided I want to get back into running, but start very minimal, and only do it about once or twice a week.

Luckily for me, after a whole 4 months of getting in the grove of things, my fellow teachers have invited me to join in their new years resolutions with them. We are going to have kick ass bodies after this semester. One of the teachers downloaded Insanity Beach Body, and we are doing the 30 day challenge. We are going to work out 4 days a week after school. My plan is to take Friday as a rest day, go for a long walk on Saturday, and a short run (2 milesish) on Sundays. I’ll see how it goes. Today was the second day and I’m sore from head to toe, but my energy levels have spiked. After we finished the workout we all headed out to socialize for a bit and I was pretty giggly. Then I came home, turned on my happy music and danced around my living room for another 20 minutes. Then I reorganized two of my drawers, folded and put away my laundry, cleaned off the kitchen table and did my dishes.

It is pretty clear to me my body has missed this like crazy. Glad to be back at it, and I’m hoping it continues to go as well as it has. My semester of grad school (yes I decided to do it) starts in less than a week. It’s going to be tough to balance everything, but anyone who knows anything about me, knows that time management is my biggest strength. Excited to be back in the grind.

Also today something just feels right about life. The last few weeks I’ve been, almost, regretting coming to Tirana. I’ve just been thinking way too much about the other decisions I could have made and how different my life would be.  It may have something to do with the fact that I’m almost 23. When I was little I always thought I would get married when I was 23. I have no clue why, but I just did. Recently part of me has wondered what that life would have been like, and I’ve been desiring it a bit too much. Tonight, as I danced around my living room I realized I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way than how it is right now. Free, unattached, and beautiful. I can go anywhere, and I can do anything I set my mind to. I’m invincible! Then I found this quote:

January 19^th 2012

I have no desire to visit the Eiffel tower, but some days I just want to be anywhere but here. I looked into purchasing a flight home today.

January 20^th 2012

So confused. Before winter break I was thinking I didn’t want to go home this summer so that I could travel. Now I just want to go home more than anything in the world. I want to hug my niece and nephew, spend a few hours playing with them and reading books, and take them out for ice cream. Then I want to meet up with my brothers for some IPA and stout while we watch a packer game together. I want to have a cup of tea with my mom face to face, followed by a run with my dad.  I want to meet up with my college friends and go to terrible horrible college bars, and dance to terrible horrible music. I want to go to a bluegrass show and dance until my legs hurt. Then I want to wake up in the morning have a bloody mary, a burger with cheddar, some more IPA and fly back to Tirana. I’m hoping that the 9 mile hike in the mountains this weekend will be able to get me through until spring break.

A little later in the day

I think I’m a bit depressed. Mostly because I haven’t seen sunlight in about a week, and I had a crazy weekend. I need some vitamin D and some more sleep ASAP.

Here is a list of some things that make me happy:

1. Smiling: sometimes just working those muscles is all it takes
2. My friends: I have the best
3. A nice dinner out. This is needed sometimes. I mean asparagus cream soup, fresh bread, gnocchi, tiramisu, and wine? Who could want more?
4. Dancing. Exercise in general, really. Sit ups, walking, but mostly dancing in my living room to happy music.
5. Happy music. Seriously. For future depressed and sad Tiara reading this: stop listening to Ryan Adams and The Very Best on repeat. Turn on some happy bluegrass, or some p-funk. Also just force yourself to dance for 10 minutes.
6. Planning for the future. This is kind of depressing. Just live in the present Tiara, right? But at the same point. Thinking about my weekend trip and where I could be next year is pretty damn exciting.
7. Water. Chug it. I can never have enough.
8. Thinking about much more complicated my life COULD be. I talked to my mom today about how thankful I am I only have to make decisions for myself.
9. Thinking about how I can be a better teacher. I’m not a bad teacher, but I know I can be better. And when I think about those cute faces I want to be.
10. Getting out of the house. After 4 hours of sitting at home on the computer, I’m done for. I just hate being alone.

January 25^th 2012

When I think about all the havoc I managed to wreak in one night of my life it is unbelievable. One more shot than I needed, one mistaken kiss, one break up, one relationship, another dozen or so partial breakups, and finally one dumb discussion about one suggestion of a potential dream. Here I am Albania. All thanks to one too many shots. I mean “shots” in multiple ways. But whoever said drinking causes people to make bad decisions had no idea what they were talking about.

February 2^nd 2012

While walking home for the bars at 2:30 this morning completely stone sober I realized how out of my element I am here. No running, no hops, no bluegrass. I actually do know who I am. I’m a beer drinking, bluegrass dancing girl, who likes to long distance run in her free time. I don’t know how many more nights of half assed dancing and enjoying myself I can stand. I just want to go dance at a live bluegrass show after drinking a fair amount of delicious beers followed by some whiskey gingers. And then I want to wake up and go for a 4 mile run by Stone Arch the following morning. I’m trying Tirana! Tonight ended in a few tears. I have to shake these mood swing somehow.

In other news I’m throwing myself into research for my final class! And by “throwing myself into it” I mean procrastinating and being very confused about what being a student is. My topic: How to teach literacy skills to students of varying English skills. My research: how to create reading groups with zero materials and resources. This will be fun.

Also, I hate men. Mostly just, aggressive and crazy Albanian men who think they can just have any girl they want. Do they think I’m dumb?

2nd world country

When I first applied to a job in Albania I was given a very brief explanation of what I was signing onto. It was explained to me that this country was still developing. What exactly that meant, I hadn't a clue. I knew there was power, fairly clean water, internet and all the basic necessities I needed for survival. But if it wasn't a 3rd world country, and wasn't yet developed, what was it?

"2nd world country" isn't a term we hear about much, so I'm going to attempt to write a blog post in which I describe what it is, at least in the terms of Albania.

The Power:  The power in Albania is pretty good, especially in the newer buildings. Since moving to my current apartment I have had the power go out 4 times, but all times it was restored with in the hour, and didn't affect me much. While we visited Saranda we had almost a whole day with our power out. This was a bit more difficult because we had no running water, (it runs on pumps controlled by electricity) no way of charging our electrical items (still not a big deal, )and no working lights. Luckily phones here come with what we refer to as "the albanian special." Flashlights installed on the end of them allowing you to make your way to the bathroom as needed. We also quickly purchased some cheap candles and created an evening of romance including wine and reading. My biggest complaint about the power shortages would be when I'm teaching. My school is lucky enough to have active boards (basic version of smart boards.) However when the power goes off we have no boards at all. This makes it very hard to teach math, and spelling. I've found myself being very flexible in my teaching, which is actually quite an awesome quality to have as a teacher. Especially considering it was my main weakness during my year of student teaching. Another major concern is the powerlines. Not only do they dangle down forcing me to duck to avoid being severely injured, they are also mangled together in an extremely crowded jumble on poles.

This isn't even close to the worst power line. 

The traffic: Everyone here owns a car. It's not a second world country thing, it's a communism thing. People weren't allowed to own cars until 20 years ago. It's a symbol of freedom. Tirana is a small "big city." You can easily walk around the whole city in a few hours. So fitting a car for everyone who wants to exercise their freedom is nearly impossible. The second world problem is that there are hardly any government regulations on them. Most of the people who drive have never been to driving school. They fail to stop at stoplights, they park on sidewalks meant for pedestrians, motorcycles drive on the sidewalks, and they certainly don't follow the speed limit, or yield to pedestrians in crosswalks. They also can't understand that sometimes traffic has to stop, and whenever they are stopped they honk an excessive number of times. What happens if you break the law? A police officer will flag you down using a pole with a circle on the end (at least in our experience.) If you don't stop for him nothing gets done. As you can imagine there is basically no reason to follow the law.

Don't fall in now....

Renting an Apartment: The apartments in my building aren't all owned by the same landlord. Each apartment has a different landlord. Thus if something in my apartment is wrong (the toilet is broken) I call my landlord and he basically does nothing about it. No seriously. Nothing. My toilet has been broken for 6 weeks. I've mentioned it to my landlord twice and he says it is no problem. Let's also talk about the lack of addresses here. Albania just started to get street names a few years ago. I have an official address, but the likelihood that I would receive mail at it is limited to none. My electric bill has arrived one out of 2 times. Also because of this issue, I have to keep a little book that they stamp when I go to pay my electric and water bill. No online service here. I have running water and electricity, which I'm very grateful for, but paying the bill is such a big task. I have to go to the electric building (nearby) during the weekday, before it closes at 3. I work during all these hours, so I have to leave work early. Then I have to go to the water place to pay my water bill. This is quite far away and also not open during hours I'm not teaching, so there is another afternoon of prep time gone. Also when you wait in line it is just like the traffic. Everyone else is first. So a lot of the time people cut in line. Luckily I've learned to block everyone with my elbows.

The Pollution: Trash is everywhere. Albanians have no idea what is happening to the environment. And don't get me started on the plastic bags in the stores. I purchase one thing and they insist on giving me a bag. I go to the market and buy one pomegranate and several apples. I put the apples in a bag and carry the pomegranate  I expect them to put the pomegranate in with the apples after they weigh it. No way! it goes in a separate bag and then the two bags go in another one. For real??? I also would like to mention how poor the air quality is around here. Because of all the cars and the disel they burn I am unable to run. The one time I ran I ended up severely ill and coughing up black crap for 2 weeks. I was advised not to run again and so I haven't. I'm going crazy here! A recent quote from my lips: "It is such a gorgeous day out! I'm going to go home, open up all my windows and let in the fresh air (this sentence was just hardly finished, as I started laughing.) Let me rephrase: I'm going to go home and open up all my windows to the wonderful smell of exhaust. It's gonna be great!"

The water: Apparently the water here is drinkable. Now that I've been here for almost 4 months I will drink a glass of it every few days, but I still don't trust myself drinking it all the time. Apparently the water is stored in tanks on the tops of buildings. Thus, it is sitting out in the sun (especially in the summer.) Therefore if there is one small bacteria in the water, and the water sits in the heat and sun all day long, the possibility of the bacteria multiplying, is great. I spent my first month in this country with terrible stomach problems like any other i'd ever had. I think I can blame it on my stomach trying to get used to the water.

The gypsies: Saddest part of living here. I wish there was something I could do. So many times I have had a gypsy child come up to me and beg for money. And yet I know that if i give this child money it is just going to go straight to their "pimp."

:(

The organized crime: Apparently "nothing here happens by mistake." This is what was said on our way down from the highest mountain as we overlooked a huge forest fire. It was part of organized crime. Seriously? Ruining beautiful things for the benefit of a few people. Stupid. I guess I don't know much about this one, except that it runs our country.

ruined forest.

The shopping: I read about the fresh food markets before I arrived here and was very excited to do my fresh shopping everyday. What a task it has become! When you go to the market they expect you to purchase a large bag of everything you get. I'm only one person, therefore I only need 5 apples, one head of lettuce, and one tomato, not 8 tomatoes and 4 heads of lettuce. Also many of the small markets don't carry everything I want. Granted they have everything I need so this should be enough. They are starting to get some super markets here, but it seems each one has it's own special items. For example I have to go to Conad if I want greek yogurt, but I have to go to Euromax for my peanut butter and Gingerale. If I want oat milk (I can't stand regular milk here as it is filled with chemicals and I'm used to drinking it almost straight from a cow) I have to go to Rossman. And don't even get my started on the search for good mustard and Jameson. As far as clothing goes there are several malls, but most of the clothes in them are expensive. I purchased one item (my winter coat) for about $90, which is more than I have ever spent on an item of clothing in my life. Even my prom dress only cost me $32. I've found a few great thrift stores, which are fantastic, except for the European clothing sizes. What is a 32? is that the equivalent of a 6 or 8? My shopping for boots was endless, because everything I liked didn't exist in my size, and everything in my size was ugly. I've learned that if you find something you like at a decent price you just buy it.

Me and Cortney after a great trip to the mall. 30 minute walk to the center, 30 minute sweaty crowded bus ride there. Then the same trip home, only with packs and bags to carry. 

The Men: Awful. "He was very kind until he got drunk. Then he became Albanian."- The words my friend used to describe a man who I was originally meant to be set up with. Everyone assumed when I left that I would meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, get married, and never return. Wrong. Trying to pave your way through the dating culture of another country is much more complicated than I thought, and thankfully about a month in I realized I definitely had no desire to do so. I've heard far too many comments about what Albanian men expect their wives to be. Let's just say Albania is a little bit behind on the women's rights issues. When I complained about paying my water bill (see apartment section) another teacher commented that when he told them he worked during all the hours they were open, they told him to, "get a wife." The expectation of women is that they cook, clean, take care of the kids and do just about everything. They are seen as an object that men own. I'm not saying all Albanian men are like this, but it is definitely part of the culture. I can't even post some of the comments I've gotten walking down the street. Mostly because I refuse to re-live them.

So this sums it up. 2nd world countries are survivable, but a bit intense.

Culture Shock: A Definition

I feel like the term "culture shock" is used in the smallest sense in the real world. Time to set it straight for those of you who are confused, and for myself.

When i was 10 years old (maybe 11?) I travelled with my family to Honduras to visit my brother. He was going to school there for 9 months and it was my first real family vacation. All of the trips up to that point had been within a few states radius, to visit my aunts, uncles and grandparents. When my mother told me were going to another country my imagination flowed. I would get to swim in the ocean, and possibly see real live dolphins! The vacation was fantastic, but I was surprised by a few things. For example I would see little boys peeing in the middle of a street, and the same little boy would come up and beg for money. We would drive past mansions protected with barbed wire, and right next to them would be a one bedroom home made of a box. Nothing had a price tag on it it, you had to bargain for everything. When I returned to small-city Marshfield everyone wanted to know about my experience, and everyone kept asking if I was culture shocked. I concluded that yes, experiencing the new culture was very shocking for me. Never had I seen a box house actually being used for a house before. So I had experienced culture shock right?

When I came to Albania I learned the term in a whole new light. You cannot experience culture shock just by visiting a place for a brief amount of time. The only way to experience culture shock is to emerse yourself in a culture enough to change your pattern of living, and the way you think about things. For example: Instead of just going to Rainbow and/or target for my weekly groceries I now go to 4 places on average. I go to 1-2 markets, usually a smaller store, and 1 or 2 big chain stores just to find everything I need. If I wanted to save more money I would go to a different store to get my cleaning supplies, and a different one to purchase my cosmetics. It is crazy how much time I have to spend shopping. Don't even get me started on how many stores I have gone into to look for leather boots.

My way of living is different in so many ways, and I can't even begin to explain all the little things I've been forced to change. More small examples: there are no dryers so I have to plan 1-2 days of drying time for clothes; I have to think about when I want to shower so I can turn on the water heater 40-60 minutes in advance; everything I throw away could be a potential craft item for school; I don't get to recycle anymore; I have to remember to stop at the market to pick up jugs of water 3 times a week; I cannot trust traffic lights; the streets don't run in blocks; I have to walk with my head down so I don't fall into a manhole; And don't even get me started on the teaching differences and work culture.

I'm not saying I hate life here at all. I love my life, and I'm loving it more everyday. As my principal told me when I arrived, Tirana is a great city if you are willing to find yourself in it. I'm just saying that living here has taken a lot of getting used to. I had no idea what the word "culture shock" truly meant until I came here. It was little, tiny stresses that added up to a lot of tears and homesickness throughout the past 2 months.

I also have lost many things I used to consider my passions. The live music culture here is very limited, it's not as simple as exploring until you find a good band, and then seeing that band live every week. I've only experienced 2 concerts, and I know there is more out there, I just have to search harder. I used to run about 5 days a week. I have ran only once since I got here, and it resulted in a cold that has lasted a month (plus) long. The air pollution just makes deep breathing seem impossible, and thus running becomes much less healthy. I used to love drinking beer, and I felt as though I was getting somewhat knowledgable about it. Now I have 1-2 choices at a restaurant, 2-5 choices at a market, and if I'm lucky 10 choices at the supermarkets.

I like to think that after 3 months I'm finally starting to move past the shock, and I'm able to experience the culture and my life a bit more. I have down my routine. I know how to plan my showers in advance. I know how to stop at the markets on the way home. I know the streets enough to not get lost and confused. My passions have had to change as well. Now I like exploring. Just walking until I find something new, or something that reminds me of my old passions. I'm also starting to throw myself into blogging, because I love reflecting on my life, and organizing my thoughts into something meaningful. If I leave them in my head they all jumbled up into a giant ball of confusion. Thus you can expect more post from me in the future.

To be honest, I'm glad I got to experience culture shock and I hope to experience it again in the future. Hopefully, if I'm really lucky, it will be with a set of friends as good as the ones I have here.

You guys rock!