Today I listened to a song that has a lot of good memories behind it. Driving around in my car summer after freshman year with my 2 best friends listening to this album was the majority of what I did. I was filled with the freedom of being a single college girl about to embark on another year of studying. But for the summer I didn’t have a care in the world.
Today as I listened to this song I thought to myself that no summer could ever be as good as that one. Funny story: they have been. And they will be. The funny thing about life is that I keep thinking it can’t get any better, and it just keeps proving me wrong.
March 11th 2013
Sometimes when I think about you, I think to myself “I am meant to be with him, and someday I will be. We are perfect for each other.” Then I remember how much better my life is now and I think I must be completely crazy. Will I ever be able to just move completely on and forward with my life?
March 17th 2013
Holy mama! 4 months from today I’ll be living in Jakarta. I’m at the same point I was last year: Unsure of where to start. I have so much to prepare so that I will already have my visa when I get there, but I don’t know how to get things translated to Indonesian. And holy crap! I probably better learn some Indonesian.
All I’m interested in right now is planning my trip home. I have so much to do and so little time to do it in, that I’m not really sure how it is going to work. So for now I’ve just been spending my extra time doing the only logical thing I can. Hanging out with my friends, who I realize I’m never going to be able to replace. Let’s be honest, I have been insanely lucky to meet people I’m so compatible with.
To think, I thought moving would be easier this time around. What was I thinking??
April 3rd 2013
3 months from now I start a new job! I feel like I’m back to square one as far as preparations go. I’m starting to learn a bit of the language, and I keep looking at my clothes wondering what will go with me. Basically nothing. Goodbye sweaters, goodbye winter coats, and goodbye jeans. I’ve also made a list of things I need to buy when I’m home (waterproof gear, new running shoes, hiking boots, ect…) and a list of what I want to do while I’m there. I’ve turned in almost all of my documents, except for the testing I need to get done at the hospital (still waiting to hear back about setting up an appointment.)
In all honesty I’m getting sad about leaving Tirana, not because I like it, but just because it was a very important chapter of my life. But I’m sure the next one will be just as crazy, stressful, and life changing.
On another note today I felt like a great teacher, and we got to start preparing for the international week at our school. I may have volunteered to do a bit much considering I’ll be in the last 2 weeks of grad school when it happens, but I think I can take it. Hopefully by then I’ll have my trip home a bit figured out and all my documents for Jakarta ready to go J
April 7th 2013
Things I should have done today:
- Deep cleaned my house since I move out in about 2 months.
- Taught myself some Indonesian
- Researched Jakarta ex-pat life, and begin preparing myself for the culture shock.
- Researched IPC curriculum so I know a bit more about it before I start teaching it.
What I did instead:
Walked around in the rain wondering how on earth I got here, who I’ve become, and how I became so selfish. And wishing I had a coffee to carry around with me. I have nothing to complain about.
Aril 10th 2013
Some days I can’t help but think that at this point in my life I should be spending my nights planning my wedding, or how I’m going to decorate my first home. Instead I’m spending my nights making lists of places I want to travel to while I’m in Jakarta. Remind me how I got here again?
April 23rd 2013
Sometimes when I listen to depressing music I wonder why I’m doing it. I think I may be just a little bit addicted to emotional pain. Maybe that is why I can’t just let go. So close, and yet so far away…..
April 28th 2013
I met a group of very insightful high schoolers last night, who managed to teach me something very important. They said that in Tirana, having fun isn’t about what you are doing, because there isn’t much to do. It’s all about the company that you keep. I love it when somehow students manage to teach you something. They also said they were in very good company (they were with a bunch of teachers.)
I spent my day today watching documentaries about Indonesia with Scott and Robert. The place is so intriguing and the more I find out about it, the more interested I become. Some things make me scared as hell to live there, while others just make me eager to get there and explore. I have a feeling it will be similar to Tirana because I think I’m going to hate the city but love the nature near me. I can’t wait! 2 months from now I’ll be on my way :)