"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain

Friday, May 25, 2012

first freakout

Well we all knew it was coming. I had my first freakout about moving today. I was supposed to work this afternoon and have the morning off, so I figured I'd just spend the morning walking, drinking coffee and reading. This was a good plan until I got a text saying I didn't need to come into work. At that point in time I should have come up with some great project for the day or something. I spent my day walking, reading, and watching tv. And by the end of it I was going crazy. I went for a walk and it suddenly hit me how lonely I am right now. Ever since I started dating at 16 I have been in a relationship, and this is the longest I have ever been single(mind you 5 months is not that long.) I've been so insanely busy since January that I hadn't even noticed how lonely I was.

I know....you don't have to be in a relationship to not be lonely, but my best friend just moved a week and a half ago, so I'm still getting used to having her gone. I also got together with my ex yesterday for a short chat. So how did any of this lead to my freakout?

No I'm not super nervous about being lonely in Albania. I'll be busy enough and I'll make friends. I mean I'm a little bit worried, but mostly I'm worried I'll be lonely when I get back. And have no job, and no where to live (other than the Marsh (kill me now)) and all my friend have moved on with their lives. And oh my god....I'll be 24 when I get home, and the pressure to find someone to be with will be on.
I know. This is a completely stupid reason to freak out. But down time official leads to too much thinking time. So I have to keep busy. On the plus side this first freakout led me to start making an Albania mix, full of songs to help calm me down during the next freakout. There are only 2 songs on there so far, but I'm sure it will fill up.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Not standing still

To say May has been an emotional month would be an understatement. The gist of it is that people are leaving. Right and left. And things just keep changing.

I'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing. These people are leaving for good reasons. My best friend Becky just moved back home to Milwaukee to prepare for law school in the fall. She wrestled with the idea for a while and I'm so proud of her for making the decision to do it. My old roommate and his girlfriend are moving to Colorado for jobs. So many of the people I know graduated last weekend and are starting new jobs, and basically what seems like new lives.

When I graduated from high school I remember thinking how crazy it was that all my friends were going off to different colleges to start their lives as adults. Now I realize I had no idea what being an adult was. College was nothing in comparison to the responsibilities we all face next.

It's hard to have people you love leave, and it's hard to watch things change, but the truth of the matter is this: I'm so glad I'm not standing still. I fear getting stuck in the same place for too long. And it would be a lot harder to watch my friends move away and on with their lives if I didn't have my own exciting change.

I went for a walk today and was listening to my iPod and came across a few songs that I know changed my life for forever. I'd like to share with you the song that I listened to the morning of my interview. As I walked and listened to it I realized that if they offered me the job I'd be going. No more doubt.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Where to begin

I know there is so much to do before I go, but I have no idea where to begin. The big things are taken care of, and now it seems to be a lot of waiting until I will be able to take other steps. Yesterday I was going through my closet and suddenly hit me that I have to pack up my stuff and fit it into 2 suitcases to move to Europe. Oh my god that is insane. Where do I even begin?

I'm going to have to be very selective about the clothes I take. And take a minimum of items. Apparently professional clothing is very expensive in Albania and children books/teaching resources are hard to come by. I expect I will be filling my suitcases mostly with those two items. 

Then there is the concern of luggage. I have none. unless you count a small pink duffel bag. I started looking for nice luggage online, but someone told me I shouldn't waste my money on nice luggage. I just need it to be good enough to get me there and back, because I'll be using a backpack the rest of the time. One of my friends moved to Taiwan and he said it's best to buy luggage used and save the money for start up costs.

As far as expenses I know I will be getting a furnished apartment, but I will still need items such as sheets, pots/pans, towels, cleaning supplies. 

And these are the thoughts that occupy my mind when I'm trying to sleep at night.