Well we all knew it was coming. I had my first freakout about moving today. I was supposed to work this afternoon and have the morning off, so I figured I'd just spend the morning walking, drinking coffee and reading. This was a good plan until I got a text saying I didn't need to come into work. At that point in time I should have come up with some great project for the day or something. I spent my day walking, reading, and watching tv. And by the end of it I was going crazy. I went for a walk and it suddenly hit me how lonely I am right now. Ever since I started dating at 16 I have been in a relationship, and this is the longest I have ever been single(mind you 5 months is not that long.) I've been so insanely busy since January that I hadn't even noticed how lonely I was.
I know....you don't have to be in a relationship to not be lonely, but my best friend just moved a week and a half ago, so I'm still getting used to having her gone. I also got together with my ex yesterday for a short chat. So how did any of this lead to my freakout?
No I'm not super nervous about being lonely in Albania. I'll be busy enough and I'll make friends. I mean I'm a little bit worried, but mostly I'm worried I'll be lonely when I get back. And have no job, and no where to live (other than the Marsh (kill me now)) and all my friend have moved on with their lives. And oh my god....I'll be 24 when I get home, and the pressure to find someone to be with will be on.
I know. This is a completely stupid reason to freak out. But down time official leads to too much thinking time. So I have to keep busy. On the plus side this first freakout led me to start making an Albania mix, full of songs to help calm me down during the next freakout. There are only 2 songs on there so far, but I'm sure it will fill up.
No comments:
Post a Comment